Tag Archives: Transformation

30 Day Non Violence Challenge

Posted on August 1, 2011 | Leave a comment

I don’t think of myself as a violent person. I do good deeds. I’m nice to others. I even helped a women load a case of paper into her car in front of Staples the other day.
My Yoga instructor, Robin Howard, started practicing and teaching yoga as healing process in her own life.

Robin states, “Often when we start to treat ourselves with the love and respect we would offer an honored guest, we make great strides in feeling happy, peaceful and whole.” This couldn’t be more in line with what I feel I do for a living to empower people to discover their gifts, talents and self worth or more simply to be true to them.
We often do things to ourselves that we would never consider doing to others or say words that hurt others and then say, “I was just having a bad day.” What if we learned other ways to express our feelings, and to ask for what we want without hurting ourselves or others?

Robin came up with a great list for treating ourselves, others and even the planet with respect and love we all deserve.

Robin’s List:
• No negative self-talk
• No harsh words to others. If you slip, just notice and apologize
• No gossip or trash talking others
• No violent images or words from TV, movies, music
• No violent speech
• Adding at least one more entirely plant-based meal a week

I’ll post about my experiences and would love to hear from you about your experiences.

Until next time,

Amy Barnes MA MBA LMHC
Twitter @coachingwithamy

http://www.facebook.com/CoachingwithAmy

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Posted in commitment, Empower, Uncategorized

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What Transforms Pain into Joy?

Posted on April 15, 2011 | Comments Off

by Amy Barnes MBA MA LMHC
The pain may be a divorce, death loss of job, cancer, a disappointment or hurt that causes you pain. Some of us bounce back more easily from these places of pain than others. Most of us have a built in resiliency that keeps us going. For some of us we need help just getting back to feeling okay. Most of us need help going from that place of pain to a place of joy some time in our lives.

Counseling and therapy do a reasonably good job of getting people from a place of pain to feeling okay, that is what insurance companies pay for, Mental health insurance companies pay for people with mental health diagnosis to get to a place of okay.

My question is much bigger than that. For me okay is not good enough. I want to feel joy, peace, contentment and even happiness most of the time. As a counselor and coach, I ask myself, what can I do that most reliably helps people get to that place of joy and stay there more and more of the time.

For each of us there are some differences yet there are some consistent things that help us each get to and stay more and more in that place of joy. Now there is an entire field of happiness psychology devoted to helping people feel happier (not just okay).

Would you rather feel joy or just okay?

No this is not a trick question and I have done this long enough and with enough people to know that everyone is willing to move from that place of pain to joy. It takes commitment and a willingness to believe in yourself.

If you answer is YES. I can support in your journey. Give me a call.

Until next time,

Amy Barnes MBA MA LMHC
Amy is a relationship counselor and coach with over 15 years experience, specializing in supporting individuals and couples in transforming pain into joy allowing people to step into their full power and creativity.

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Posted in Amy Barnes, Happiness, Joy, Pain, Transformation

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Freedom, the Fourth of July and Transformation

Posted on June 30, 2010 | Leave a comment

July 4th more than anything else I think of as a day where our forefathers gained freedom. They transformed this group of people and land area to the United States of America. Creating a safe place to exercise freedom that has been passed on to us. In one sense we are citizens in a free country. Yet I feel that very few of us use that freedom wisely or to its fullest potential

I think the greatest freedom we have is to exercise our right to develop our full potential. True freedom is using our talents and gifts in a way that most serves others, serves ourselves, serves the universe and creates abundance for all. The ultimate win-win solution.

Helen Keller although deaf and blind was free. Despite her physical handicaps, she was free. Helen Keller was free to use her mind, to develop herself to her highest potential. She was born into a family that supported her in being the best she could be.

Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.   Helen Keller


Often we use our freedom is used unwisely.  I think of an angry child (or adult) yelling I can do whatever I want – that’s not freedom that’s rebellion. I also don’t think our forefathers (and foremothers) fought so hard so we could go to the mall and charge whatever we wanted. Freedom is not about credit card debt and oil spills.

We are free to think for ourselves. We are free to develop our own ideas and opinions. We are free to not follow the masses to not ever be pushed into something we do not want and to marry who we choose. Most importantly we are free to create a life we love. We are not at the affect of our environment but free to make choices based on our own unique set of skill, gifts talents, desires and current circumstances.

With freedom comes responsibility – yes I know you’ve heard that before and it is true. You can not be free unless you exercise the responsibility to take control of your own life. You are responsible for the life you create. Putting blame out there only takes away your freedom and your power.

Are you creating the life you love? If you’d like some assistance give me a call.

Until next time,

Amy Barnes MBA MA LMHC,

Life Coach for Relationships, Leadership and Transformation

“Be the Change You Want to See in the World.”  Gandhi

Amy inspires transformation by supporting people to step into their full power and creativity.

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Posted in change, Empower, Transformation, Uncategorized

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What I Learned From My Flooded Basement

Posted on June 23, 2010 | Leave a comment

After yesterday’s monsoons, a few inches of water in the basement, and a failed sump pump, I am now the happy owner of a 1/6 HP submersible pump. Very empowering to come out on top of what could have been a major problem. First thanks to Randy, the manager of my local Ace Hardware at 86th and Westfield for more of his always helpful advice on what to do. My basement had quickly transformed itself from a dry to a very wet basement.

I have been appreciating myself for my ability to solve life problems. To figure out what to do next seems to have always been a strength of mine that I have taken for granted. I think of it like solving geometry problems. First you figure out all the things you do know. In geometry, it might be angles or the length of one or more sides or the relationship of one angle or side to another. For the basement, the job was too big for my wet dry vac. I had to be back at the office in two hours. I also knew I could ask someone else for help.

Transformation and change can be that simple. First taking stock of where you are in life and then realizing that where you are is not where you want to end up. Sometimes you know where you are going and how to get there and sometimes all you know is that you don’t want to be where you are.

In this case I knew I wanted a dry basement, as simply, easily and inexpensively as possible. I found someone to ask who I knew I could trust to either help or point me in the right direction. In this case I asked Randy and he helped me with the solution, the submersible pump.

With life issues it’s also important to be willing to ask for help. Life issues are not always that easy to solve. Being willing to ask the questions could be a major step in either creating a solution or making a change or transition in your life.

I’m here and I’m looking forward to your questions.

Until next time,

Amy Barnes, Life Coach for Leadership and Transformation

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Posted in change, Empower, Life Coach, Transformation, Uncategorized

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Transformation and Change

Posted on June 21, 2010 | Leave a comment

Transformation and change, its what I do for a living.

The opening of the 100 acre  IMA Sculpture Park was the result of individuals with a vision.  I celebrate those visionaries who could see change and a different way of doing art.  Years ago I walked my dog along the old limestone pit now filled with water with barely a walkable path around the lake,  Yesterday I walked along those paths now cleared and embellished, filled with happy adults and children, friends and families, talking and playing despite the oppressive hot and humid day.  What a difference.  Transformation can be marvelous and wonderful and positive.

My friend Kurt Refsnider, a geologist and glacier expert, who lives in Boulder and researches glacier and other deposits in the article circle has noted some not so positive changes.  The sea masses where polar bears live, used to remain frozen for all but about three months per year allowing the polar bears to gather food at sea.  Now the sea masses melt about a month and a half earlier and refreeze about a month and a half or more later.  Polar bears are now on land for about six months with no food sources.  If you need a better example, think of the negative change that has occurred with oil in the gulf. 

 Transformation or change can be either positive or negative.  People have the ability to cause both positive and negative changes to the environment, to others and to themselves. 

 As a Coach and a Change Agent I am most interested in what creates positive change. 

How can I use this ability to create change in a way that inspires individuals, couples, and corporations?  What if I could actually use my gifts as a catalyst, a change agent and a visionary to inspire and motivate others on a much larger scale?  To make the world a better place for all. 

So that’s what I want on my tombstone.  The world is a much better place for her having been here. 

 Until next time,

 Amy Barnes, Life Coach and Change Agent

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Posted in Amy Barnes, Change Agent, Coaching, IMA 100 acre park, Indiana, Indianapolis, Kurt Refsnider, Life Coach, Transformation, Uncategorized

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What Now?

Posted on March 1, 2010 | Leave a comment

By Amy Barnes, Life Coach for Transformation and Relationships

Transformation takes place one step at a time. What has happened in the past is past. I have no control over the past. In this moment I choose. I make choices about me about who I am about how I decide to define myself.
Today my middle daughter left for Morocco with the Peace Corps as an environmental volunteer.     I am both saddened by her leaving. I’ve shed lots of tears in the last few days and incredibly excited.  

For those of you like me who had to look it up, Morocco is across from Spain in Northern African, an Islamic country best known for Casablanca and Marrakech.  Although she will be living  in a much less glamorous and rural place. 

She has made choices most of us would not choose. She is alive and excited and choosing to not just dream but to live her dreams. I am very proud of her. She has made many conscious choices during her young life that have let her to this point. She is a traveler and an adventurer and both knowledgeable and well grounded in her field. She has taken soil samples in the Arctic Circle while warding off polar bears, taught English in South Korea, and kayaked down mountain streams with water moccasins in a wet suit complete to identify rare plants.

A good friend tossed the question back to me. What now? What is it that I choose to do? What adventures will I create in my own life? What choices will I make? Defining myself by my past only limits me. I choose no longer to be tied in restricted, to go through life unconscious bound by my past choices.

I ask the same questions of you that I am asking of myself. Will today you choose to go remain unconscious doing the same thing over and over or today will you be fully alive. Will you choose to make conscious choices? Your choices define who you are.

Transformation takes place one step at a time. In each moment, we can choose to go through life in limbo merely replaying the same old thing or we can choose to be the co creators of our lives. Today which will you choose?

Until next time,

Amy Barnes , MA MBA LMHC, Life Coach for Transformation and Relationships

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Posted in conscious living, Life Coach, Transformation, Uncategorized

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Transforming Snowflakes!

Posted on February 9, 2010 | Leave a comment

by Amy Barnes, Life Coach for Leadership and Transformation

Snow like many things in life is neither good nor bad it just is. I write sitting in my living room watching the snow fall. As a life coach I assist individuals and couples in positive transformations. I love how snow transforms the dreary gray of winter into something amazing. I see the beauty and tranquility of trees and bushes covered in snow, white, peaceful quiet, I love the snow. I have always loved the snow.
As a child I loved making snowmen and catching snowflakes on my tongue, then downhill snow skiing and cross country skiing at Eagle Creek Park.  Today I am content to watch it snow and later I’ll play Frisbee in the snow with my dog.

Vancouver and all those involved in the Winter Olympics are mystified by the warmth and lack of snow, just wishing for our weather. Snow is being trucked in and flown in, in an attempt to prepare the slopes for the first day’s events. Snow has become a valuable and costly commodity.

In Indianapolis, we rate our mayors by their efficiency and quality of and the tons of salt that are put down to keep businesses and schools open. Sometimes snow causes interstates and airports to close;  and emergency shelters to be set up. Snow causes related icy injuries and even deaths. Snow is neither good nor bad it just is.

How can a single snowflake in its beauty and fragility cause such dislike and admiration? I imagination in my front yard alone there are billions of snowflakes. Our actions are much like the snow. One snowflake makes litle difference yet the snow composed of millions and millions of snowflakes can make a big difference. One action makes little difference yet repeated actions, perhaps actions that cause us to love or hate ourselves, or gain or loose weight, or be the kind of person we want to be or not, form the nitty-gritty of our lives.

The transformation or change we seek is simple. Life lived consciously. Taking no action or thought for granted, not living on auto pilot, living in the moment, not the future or the past. Like the massive snow our lives and the character of our souls is built one minute infinitesimal action at a time. Each day thousands of choice points to be the same or to do something different. I can eat the salad or the chocolate cake. I can write or play solitaire. I can show loving kindness or anger to my spouse or kids or co workers.

For some transformation comes in quantum leaps for most of us transformation comes one action, one thought, or one snowflake at a time.

Until next time

Amy Barnes, Life Coach for Leadership and Transformation.

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Transforming Yourself Through Your Stories

Posted on January 12, 2010 | Leave a comment

By Amy Barnes, Life Coach for Leadership and Transformation

 We all share stories both stories of past events and stories of our hopes and dreams.  We share stories about us and we share stories about family members and friends.  Stories can be transforming and empowering or stories can be devaluing and shameful.  The stories you believe and tell about yourself and what you believe about these stories tells much about what kind of person you have become. 

     Invictus tells the story of South Africa, Nelson Mandela and Rugby Captain, Francois Pienaar.  The movie inspires.  Mandela and Pienaar are able to transform an entire country through the game of rugby.  That’s a signature story. 

 We all have experiences both good and bad that have happened to us.  If you had been persecuted and had to go into hiding to not be killed how would you see the world?

With the help of Miep Gies, who died yesterday, we all know the story of Ann frank and her diary.  Ann Frank inspires us. 

Miep Gies rejected being called a hero. She inspires us with the idea that a very ordinary person can do a very extraordinary thing.  We can all make a difference.  We can each do something to help another, perhaps even save a life. 

The transformative stories come from how we face the world and the choices we make.  The transformation comes not from the event itself but in how we choose to interpret the event and the action we choose to take as a result of the event.  Mandela could have caved in after 27 years of unjust imprisonment and even then to hate instead of forgive his persecutors.   

 Miep Gies could have chosen not to risk her own personal safety by helping to hide the Frank family. 

We each can choose whether we become a victim to what has happened in the past or we could use what has happened as a spring board to propel us to greatness.  Same story different interpretation.

You have a choice as do each of us.  We can use what ever has happened in the past, our stories as a way to keep us from greatness or as a way to propel ourselves to greatness.   

 Which will you choose?

 Until next time.

 Amy Barnes, Life Coach for Leadership and Transformation

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Posted in Amy Barnes, Coaching, Empower, Life Coach

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The Value of Persistence

Posted on January 4, 2010 | Leave a comment

So you’ve made those New Year’s Resolutions so what now?

Are you going to be like the vast majority of people who either don’t make resolutions or give up on them before January is even over?
On a December trip to Santa Barbara I had the privilege of meeting with Gay Hendricks who brought along his friend, Bob Proctor, who he had just picked up at the airport. Bob Proctor is known for his work in motivation. I can see why.
Bob Proctor talked of growing up being a fan of Napoleon Hill. Napoleon Hill spent his life researching what makes a successful person a success. Proctor reads the chapter on Persistence each day for 30 days at least once each year. He brought with him his original copy of  Think and Grow Rich that he carries with him always. He was also a featured presenter on The Secret.

One percent of the population earns 96 percent of the money. Bob Proctor states that you could be part of this  one percent.  He asks if you are willing to do what it takes regardless of what is happening in the outside world. He asks if you are willing to be in control of your own destiny instead of letting others outside of you control you destiny.

Persistence is not necessarily an easy habit for many of us. Yet the universe is willing to be incredibly helpful if we just put forth a little effort. It’s amazing what making one small commitment to yourself and keeping it can do for both your self esteem and your motivation.

I recommend starting with something small. Working out five days a week in the gym for an hour each day could be a bit much if you have not worked out in years. Starting with a minimum of five minutes two days a week is doable. Deciding to make fifty sales calls a day may again be overwhelming but deciding each day to focus on your top three accounts and setting up a meeting with a new prospect may again be manageable and not so overwhelming.

Find something you can agree to do and stick to it. Persistence. It’s one of those major traits that all successful people have in common.  How can you best use persistance to obtain the abundance and success you desire. 

If I can assist you with your level of motivation and persistence or any other coaching issues, please give me a call.

Happy New Year!

Until Next Time,

Amy Barnes, Leadership and Transformation Coach

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Posted in Amy Barnes, Coaching, Hendricks, Indiana, Indianapolis, Leadership, Life Coach, Self Confidence, Transformation

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NaNoWriMo: Time for a Challenge

Posted on October 27, 2009 | 2 Comments

I’ve always been a closet writer.  I love to write and have always felt a little self conscious about it.  My story has been that I have a limited audience of people who love to read my writing in very small doses but that’s about it.  My writing is boring.  Other people can say it better than I can etc. etc. 

I absolutely love reading mystery novels but have felt myself incompetent to do anything but purely non fictional self help type writing.  I’ve written poetry and prose in the past but have always discarded them as not being good enough. 

Several weeks ago at dinner with a friend I mentioned, rather haphazardly, that I had always wanted to write a mystery but felt that doing so was out of my league.  Without missing a beat he said, “Maybe all you need is practice.”  I must admit I was rather startled by this and secretly quite pleased.  I expected the same response I feel that I have received from everyone else.  Comments like maybe you should stick with writing about what you know about.  My favorite comment is from my Mom.  You’re a good cook, you really ought to write a cook book. 

I’m realizing that I have received positive comments about my writing.  In my first job out of college even though I was a math major, a number of people in the office brought their writing to me to proof.  I was told I was a good writer in grad school.  Yet there were a few negative comments from those closest to me that I allowed to influence me to discount my own writing ability.  How often we can yet others opinions of us influence what we decide to do.

I have no idea whether or not I am a great writer.  I’m just getting over a year of writer’s block.  Now I know about it first hand.

I just signed up for  NaNoWriMo.  For those in the know it stands for National Novel Writing Month.  The challenge is to write a minimum of 50,000 words forming a novel.  A very, very, rough draft of a novel.  At 300 words per page that works out to 1667 words per day with no time off.  At 300 words per double spaced page that is about five to sixpages per day or more realistically for me a few more pages per day with Thanksgiving and a few more days off.   

The challenge appeals to me.  I have no clue whether or not I will finish and that’s ok with all except the perfectionist part of me – but she won’t like the no proofreading part either.  Regardless I know it will change my writing. 

As a coach I like the idea of commitment, of trying something new and of getting outside my comfort zone.  All things I encourage my clients to do. 

Maybe you might want to join me.  If so, sign up at NaNoWriMo and let me know.

Until next time,

 

Amy Barnes, Life Coach for Leadership and Transformation

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Posted in Amy Barnes, Coaching, commitment, Completions, Creativity, Leadership, Life Coach, NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, Uncategorized, WRITING

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