Tag Archives: happiness

Free to Be

Maybe you know someone like “Larry” or maybe you are a lot like “Larry.” Larry has never been able to please his Father. He went into the family business and married a woman that pleased his parents. He went to college and selected a major not based on his interests but based on what would be a good fit with the family business and please others. He has done well in his life but he has never been happy. For some people this would be a great scenario and they would be very happy. For someone like Larry whose interests and dreams are not in alignment with others expectation of him, happiness eludes him. He can never be happy living a life out of alignment with who he is.

Many of us are a little like Larry. We make decisions in our life not because it is what we really want to do but because it is what others expect of us. We have not learned to be comfortable in our skin – we rely on others opinions and we rarely trust out gut – we have trouble making decisions, sometimes even on daily simple things like where do I want to eat, because we have so little faith in ourselves. When does it become okay to listen to our own hearts, our own inner voices and use our own talents and gifts in a way that best fits us and best fits the world?

When you are in touch with and use your gifts, talents and passions, you become fully alive and fully you. Amazingly, fully being you frees up a tremendous amount of energy and gives you a much better opportunity to be both happy and successful in all areas of your life. As a coach, I empower clients to get in touch with their own gifts and talents and passions so they can most fully be themselves at work and play and in their relationships. Being ok with who you are – all of you is the basis of self-worth, self-esteem and self-confidence. I believe we were not created to be anything different than we are. I believe that we each have the potential for greatness inside us that can best be accessed by fully being ourselves.

I want to empower you to be the best you can be, by being yourself.

Amy Barnes, MA MBA LMHC

Happiness, Sex and Obesity

Now yet another study has come out confirming the connection between our physical bodies and how we feel about ourselves. As a relationship counselor and coach I feel quite vested in improving the quality of life of my clients. I see the mind, body and spirit all as quite interconnected. If we don’t take care of our bodies it affects not only the quality of our lives physically but also how we feel about ourselves, emotionally.

The lack of desire for sex by one partner is often seen as a problem in a relationship. Although the causes for the lack of sex can be many, obesity is certainly one of the problems.

Indiana ranks 17th as one of the most obese states in the US. Obesity is described as having a BMI (Body Mass Index) of 30 or greater. Morbidly obese is described as being 100 or more pounds overweight. The National Institute of health estimates that more than 300,000 lives could be saved in the United States each year if everyone stayed at a healthy weight!

When working with clients as a therapist and coach I am most concerned with having my clients be healthy and feel good. I want to support my clients in feeling good in all areas of their lives.

According to the May/June 2011 issues of the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, there is now one more reason for people to take care of themselves. Obese people have a less satisfying sex life and a lower quality of life. Ostbye, director of the research study at Duke stated, “Our findings contribute to a growing body of research that indicates obesity is associated with reduced sexual functioning and sexual quality of life among both men and women.” The study added that both the decreased quality of life and decreased quality of sexual function are even greater for women than for men.
Dealing with obesity is not just about the weight but is layered with a lifetime of emotional issues that are difficult to deal with. Eating and body image are emotional issues.

I want to support you in loving yourself and loving your life. I want to empower you to transform your pain into joy so you can step into your full power and creativity.

Call me. I will listen.

Until next time,
Amy Barnes MBA MA LMHC

Amy is a relationship counselor and coach with over 15 years experience, specializing in empowering individuals in transforming their pain into joy so they may step into their full power and creativity.