Tag Archives: change

30 Day Non Violence Challenge

Posted on August 1, 2011 | Leave a comment

I don’t think of myself as a violent person. I do good deeds. I’m nice to others. I even helped a women load a case of paper into her car in front of Staples the other day.
My Yoga instructor, Robin Howard, started practicing and teaching yoga as healing process in her own life.

Robin states, “Often when we start to treat ourselves with the love and respect we would offer an honored guest, we make great strides in feeling happy, peaceful and whole.” This couldn’t be more in line with what I feel I do for a living to empower people to discover their gifts, talents and self worth or more simply to be true to them.
We often do things to ourselves that we would never consider doing to others or say words that hurt others and then say, “I was just having a bad day.” What if we learned other ways to express our feelings, and to ask for what we want without hurting ourselves or others?

Robin came up with a great list for treating ourselves, others and even the planet with respect and love we all deserve.

Robin’s List:
• No negative self-talk
• No harsh words to others. If you slip, just notice and apologize
• No gossip or trash talking others
• No violent images or words from TV, movies, music
• No violent speech
• Adding at least one more entirely plant-based meal a week

I’ll post about my experiences and would love to hear from you about your experiences.

Until next time,

Amy Barnes MA MBA LMHC
Twitter @coachingwithamy

http://www.facebook.com/CoachingwithAmy

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Posted in commitment, Empower, Uncategorized

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Pain and Joy

Posted on December 2, 2010 | Leave a comment

by Amy Barnes MBA MA LMHC

Pain and Joy are deeply connected. Sounds like they don’t have much in common. Yet as I work with clients, as a therapist, counselor and coach, I empower people like you to move from pain to joy. These two deep feelings are intricately entwined. They have everything in common. Often we become numb to the pain. The pain over a broken relationship or over not being where we want to be in life or not liking who we are is too much and we shut down. To protect ourselves from the pain we also shut ourselves off to the joy.

Bah! Humbug! Don’t want to feel the pain. Don’t want to feel the joy. It feels safe to stay numb. You may find yourself irritated at all those happy people or getting tired of putting on a happy face. Or you may in fact feel quite split. You may feel at times, joyful and at times feeling the pain.

I support clients in dealing with the pain so that they can discover and stay with the joy. I empower clients who are willing to do what it takes to transform pain into joy, to step into their full power and creativity.

You deserve to have a wonderful life. Isn’t it time you gave yourself a gift: The gift of joy.

If you are serious about making positive changes in your life, give me a call. I look forward to hearing from you.

Until next time,

Amy Barnes MBA MA LMHC

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Posted in Empower, Joy, Relationships, Transformation

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Transforming Pain

Posted on November 1, 2010 | Leave a comment

We all want to feel good. We want to have good things happen to us and to our family and to our friends. Yet sometimes things happen that we don’t feel very good about. Listening to the media we should all feel good all the time. Just buy this or drink that or smoke this or do that. So with all this emphasis on feeling good is their any value in feeling bad???

No, I don’t advocate feeling bad for the heck of it. But I do advocate that maybe sitting with that pain, not trying to hide it or make light of it or rush to quickly to get rid of the pain, may be just what we need to get to the other side of it and not dwell in it. Maybe you have been downsized or had a fight with your spouse or you are single and not in the relationship you have been dreaming or maybe your best friend died or maybe you just had a bad day. Honoring the pain heals.

Often we don’t know why we feel pain. We often make assumptions and our mind tells us stories of why we feel the way we do, yet our minds are not always accurate. Usually if we have very strong feelings it’s about more than just what is happening in the moment. To sit with the pain and allow ourselves to feel it in our bodies and our heart instead of just retelling the stories in our head allow us to move through the pain.

Making the shift to feel good is important. It is a vital part of what I do working with individuals on personal, relationship and core issues. I want people to feel good. But I don’t want to do this with a band aid approach. I want people to radiate that good feeling from the inside out. I am not aware of anyone who does it 100% of the time. Life happens and sometimes what happens stinks. It’s not fair and it’s not what we want.

Feeling what it is we do feel at a deep level and appreciating all our feelings – especially the ones we don’t like – is an essential piece to really feeling good. To honor and not fear or try to hide or cover up our feelings leads to genuine joy and happiness.

Until next time,

Amy Barnes, Life Coach for Relationships and Personal Transformation
“Be the Change You Want to See in the World” – Ghandi

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Posted in Feelings, Joy, Life Coach, Transformation, Uncategorized

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What I Learned From My Flooded Basement

Posted on June 23, 2010 | Leave a comment

After yesterday’s monsoons, a few inches of water in the basement, and a failed sump pump, I am now the happy owner of a 1/6 HP submersible pump. Very empowering to come out on top of what could have been a major problem. First thanks to Randy, the manager of my local Ace Hardware at 86th and Westfield for more of his always helpful advice on what to do. My basement had quickly transformed itself from a dry to a very wet basement.

I have been appreciating myself for my ability to solve life problems. To figure out what to do next seems to have always been a strength of mine that I have taken for granted. I think of it like solving geometry problems. First you figure out all the things you do know. In geometry, it might be angles or the length of one or more sides or the relationship of one angle or side to another. For the basement, the job was too big for my wet dry vac. I had to be back at the office in two hours. I also knew I could ask someone else for help.

Transformation and change can be that simple. First taking stock of where you are in life and then realizing that where you are is not where you want to end up. Sometimes you know where you are going and how to get there and sometimes all you know is that you don’t want to be where you are.

In this case I knew I wanted a dry basement, as simply, easily and inexpensively as possible. I found someone to ask who I knew I could trust to either help or point me in the right direction. In this case I asked Randy and he helped me with the solution, the submersible pump.

With life issues it’s also important to be willing to ask for help. Life issues are not always that easy to solve. Being willing to ask the questions could be a major step in either creating a solution or making a change or transition in your life.

I’m here and I’m looking forward to your questions.

Until next time,

Amy Barnes, Life Coach for Leadership and Transformation

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Posted in change, Empower, Life Coach, Transformation, Uncategorized

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Transformation and Change

Posted on June 21, 2010 | Leave a comment

Transformation and change, its what I do for a living.

The opening of the 100 acre  IMA Sculpture Park was the result of individuals with a vision.  I celebrate those visionaries who could see change and a different way of doing art.  Years ago I walked my dog along the old limestone pit now filled with water with barely a walkable path around the lake,  Yesterday I walked along those paths now cleared and embellished, filled with happy adults and children, friends and families, talking and playing despite the oppressive hot and humid day.  What a difference.  Transformation can be marvelous and wonderful and positive.

My friend Kurt Refsnider, a geologist and glacier expert, who lives in Boulder and researches glacier and other deposits in the article circle has noted some not so positive changes.  The sea masses where polar bears live, used to remain frozen for all but about three months per year allowing the polar bears to gather food at sea.  Now the sea masses melt about a month and a half earlier and refreeze about a month and a half or more later.  Polar bears are now on land for about six months with no food sources.  If you need a better example, think of the negative change that has occurred with oil in the gulf. 

 Transformation or change can be either positive or negative.  People have the ability to cause both positive and negative changes to the environment, to others and to themselves. 

 As a Coach and a Change Agent I am most interested in what creates positive change. 

How can I use this ability to create change in a way that inspires individuals, couples, and corporations?  What if I could actually use my gifts as a catalyst, a change agent and a visionary to inspire and motivate others on a much larger scale?  To make the world a better place for all. 

So that’s what I want on my tombstone.  The world is a much better place for her having been here. 

 Until next time,

 Amy Barnes, Life Coach and Change Agent

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Posted in Amy Barnes, Change Agent, Coaching, IMA 100 acre park, Indiana, Indianapolis, Kurt Refsnider, Life Coach, Transformation, Uncategorized

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Transforming Snowflakes!

Posted on February 9, 2010 | Leave a comment

by Amy Barnes, Life Coach for Leadership and Transformation

Snow like many things in life is neither good nor bad it just is. I write sitting in my living room watching the snow fall. As a life coach I assist individuals and couples in positive transformations. I love how snow transforms the dreary gray of winter into something amazing. I see the beauty and tranquility of trees and bushes covered in snow, white, peaceful quiet, I love the snow. I have always loved the snow.
As a child I loved making snowmen and catching snowflakes on my tongue, then downhill snow skiing and cross country skiing at Eagle Creek Park.  Today I am content to watch it snow and later I’ll play Frisbee in the snow with my dog.

Vancouver and all those involved in the Winter Olympics are mystified by the warmth and lack of snow, just wishing for our weather. Snow is being trucked in and flown in, in an attempt to prepare the slopes for the first day’s events. Snow has become a valuable and costly commodity.

In Indianapolis, we rate our mayors by their efficiency and quality of and the tons of salt that are put down to keep businesses and schools open. Sometimes snow causes interstates and airports to close;  and emergency shelters to be set up. Snow causes related icy injuries and even deaths. Snow is neither good nor bad it just is.

How can a single snowflake in its beauty and fragility cause such dislike and admiration? I imagination in my front yard alone there are billions of snowflakes. Our actions are much like the snow. One snowflake makes litle difference yet the snow composed of millions and millions of snowflakes can make a big difference. One action makes little difference yet repeated actions, perhaps actions that cause us to love or hate ourselves, or gain or loose weight, or be the kind of person we want to be or not, form the nitty-gritty of our lives.

The transformation or change we seek is simple. Life lived consciously. Taking no action or thought for granted, not living on auto pilot, living in the moment, not the future or the past. Like the massive snow our lives and the character of our souls is built one minute infinitesimal action at a time. Each day thousands of choice points to be the same or to do something different. I can eat the salad or the chocolate cake. I can write or play solitaire. I can show loving kindness or anger to my spouse or kids or co workers.

For some transformation comes in quantum leaps for most of us transformation comes one action, one thought, or one snowflake at a time.

Until next time

Amy Barnes, Life Coach for Leadership and Transformation.

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Thriving in the Meantime

Posted on October 13, 2009 | Leave a comment

Looking out my window is a pile of golden yellow leaves which seem to glow in contrast to the overcast grey skies. I’ve been admiring the glorious shades of leaves from dark red to golden yellow with many trees still green. Fall is an incredible time for transition. Fall is the meantime between summer and winter. Spring is the meantime between winter and summer. Seems to me like we spend lots of our life “in the meantime.” (In the Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love You Want, also happens to be the name of one of my favorite books by Iyanla Vanzant.)

Maybe the weather isn’t the only thing in transition. You may feel in transition. The one thing you know for certain is that you want change in your life. You may be unhappy with your job or lack of one, your financial situation, your children, your parents, your spouse or lack of one or just generally at this moment not pleased with yourself.

You may know what you do want or you may only know what you don’t want. You do know for sure that you do not have in your life right now what you do want. So what do you do in the meantime? How do you use that time and space well?

Pushing too hard can leave you exhausted like a hamster running in his cage. Sitting by the TV eating chips or playing endless hours of video games also won’t get you where you want to be. Taking action is important but what kind of action do you take.

The meantime is a perfect time for cleaning up all your incompletions. This is a great time for clearing out the clutter, cleaning out your office, getting your finances in order starting and keeping an exercise routine, reading those books you always meant to read, learning a new skill. The meantime is a great time for coming into integrity with yourself. This is the time for being the kind of person you want to be. Being in integrity is about your words, your actions and indeed how you live your life matching.

Taking control of what you can do in this moment, in the meantime also frees up energy and time for what you do want in your life.

It’s easy to feel down, like a victim and out of control when what you want in your life is not what you have. Taking action to control what you can (and let go of the rest) and being the person you want to be can certainly help you move in the right direction.

Life has lots of “in the meantimes.” How you choose to use them says a lot about you.

Until next time,

Amy Barnes, Life Coach for Leadership and Transformation

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Posted in Amy Barnes, Coaching, Life Coach, Self Confidence, Transformation, Uncategorized

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What Are You Committed To?

Posted on September 1, 2009 | 1 Comment

What am I committed to?

For the month of September, I have made two commitments to myself.  The first is to exercise 5 out of seven days per week which would have me exercising 21 days per week.  For me that is usually, walking or hiking, yoga, bike riding or an intensive day of gardening and grass mowing.  I choose to take better care of my body.  Exercising represents action steps that I can take to fulfill my commitment to myself.  I have said what I would do so I will clearly know each day whether or not I have exercised. 

 The second commitment I have made to myself is to blog five out of seven days during the month of September and to learn more about blogging.  That again would be at least 21 posts during the month of September. 

 These goals are measurable.  They have specific action steps.  They meet the criteria of being specific and saying what I will do by when.  I have also made these goals public which is something I have rarely done.  I will be obvious to others whether or not I have kept my commitments to myself. 

 At the end of September, I can recommit to these same goals or I can change my mind.  Either way I will have learned something about myself.   Can I keep a commitment to myself?  When is it easiest or most difficult? 

Would you be willing to make a commitment to do something for yourself that takes you in the direction you want to go?  As a coach I support individuals, like you, in taking action steps that move them in the direction they want to go. 

What could you do during September that would make you feel better about yourself once you accomplished it?  What would be an easy action step that would help make that happen? 

 Let me know what you decide.

 Amy

PS. Individuals who make committments to themselves and keep them generally feel better about themselves.

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Posted in Amy Barnes, Body Mind Vibrance coach, Coaching, Creativity, Empower, Indiana, Leadership, Life Coach, Self Confidence, self esteem, Transformation, Uncategorized

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Sunday Night Choices

Posted on August 30, 2009 | Leave a comment

It’s Sunday night.  My dog Char and I are watching the night come. We’re watching the last few cardinals and gold finches at the feeders, listening to the growing sound of crickets and observing the trees turn into shadows.  Char is impatient as he sits next to me waiting for one more round of Frisbee before bedtime.

Sunday’s to me have always been special family nights.  As a child, my family watched Bonanza, http://www.tv.com/bonanza/show/228/summary.html,   on our one TV set – no computers, cell phones or CD’s.  As I grew older Sunday nights meant hastily finishing procrastinated homework.  Later family meetings with my children to coordinate family schedules with desert and family games characterized Sunday evenings.  Then my kids had less time for family and more time to talk with their friends and finish the homework they had procrastinated on over the weekend.

I have always appreciated the quiet reflection that Sunday evenings bring.  Sundays bring both a time to reflect on the past week and a time to plan for the future week.  Now my children are grown.  At first I disliked the quiet Sunday evenings alone.

Tonight it’s just Char and I, a few birds and some crickets outside to keep us company.  I now skip Sunday night deserts in favor of tilapia and sautéed zucchini.  At this point I find myself thinking of the Robert Frost poem.  “Two roads diverged on a snowy evening and I, I took the one less traveled by and that has made all the difference”

I feel sad.  My heart is heavy as I compare the loneliness to the wonderful memories of many years of Sunday night as family time.  Am I lonely or alone?

Tonight I have a clear choice.  I can stay sad stuck in the memories of the past and my stories of how life will never be the same.  Or I can intentionally make a different choice.  I can consciously choose to grow, to move forward, to have new experiences, and to create a life I love.  I can choose to continue to expand and be fully alive.  I know which choice I will make.

Which choice are you making?

Amy

PS.  Tomorrow I start Yoga classes.

Copyright 2009

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Posted in Amy Barnes, Appreciation, Body Mind Vibrance coach, Coaching, Creativity, Indiana, Life Coach, Uncategorized

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Giving Back

Posted on August 29, 2009 | Leave a comment

One of my Father’s favorite quotes was, “To whom much is given much is expected.”  Merely by living in the United States you are part of a society that has and uses most of the world’s resources.    You may currently be unemployed or underemployed or discouraged by your financial status.  Yet it is very likely that you take for granted something that over one sixth of the world’s population do not have access to:  Clean Drinking Water.

What would you and your family do without access to clean drinking water?  Every fifteen seconds a child dies somewhere in the world because of a water related illness.

Three and a half million people a year die from water related illnesses.

I encourage you to take a moment to express appreciation for the water you had to drink or you have used today.

Water is not currently considered a basic human right.   I encourage you to support the right to Clean Drinking Water by signing the United Nations Universal Declaration of

Human Rights Article 31.

Support Article 31.

http://www.article31.org/

Over a billion people on the planet who did not have a clean glass of water to drink today thank you for your support.

Amy

P.S. You can check out ways you can help by visiting  http://water.org/

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Posted in Amy Barnes, Appreciation, Body Mind Vibrance coach, Coaching, Creativity, Indiana, Leadership, Transformation, Uncategorized

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