Category Archives: Empower

30 Day Non Violence Challenge

Posted on August 1, 2011 | Leave a comment

I don’t think of myself as a violent person. I do good deeds. I’m nice to others. I even helped a women load a case of paper into her car in front of Staples the other day.
My Yoga instructor, Robin Howard, started practicing and teaching yoga as healing process in her own life.

Robin states, “Often when we start to treat ourselves with the love and respect we would offer an honored guest, we make great strides in feeling happy, peaceful and whole.” This couldn’t be more in line with what I feel I do for a living to empower people to discover their gifts, talents and self worth or more simply to be true to them.
We often do things to ourselves that we would never consider doing to others or say words that hurt others and then say, “I was just having a bad day.” What if we learned other ways to express our feelings, and to ask for what we want without hurting ourselves or others?

Robin came up with a great list for treating ourselves, others and even the planet with respect and love we all deserve.

Robin’s List:
• No negative self-talk
• No harsh words to others. If you slip, just notice and apologize
• No gossip or trash talking others
• No violent images or words from TV, movies, music
• No violent speech
• Adding at least one more entirely plant-based meal a week

I’ll post about my experiences and would love to hear from you about your experiences.

Until next time,

Amy Barnes MA MBA LMHC
Twitter @coachingwithamy

http://www.facebook.com/CoachingwithAmy

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Posted in commitment, Empower, Uncategorized

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Is Your Fear Real?

Posted on July 23, 2011 | Leave a comment

Years and years ago at the height of my extreme introvert self – yes I am a recovering extreme introvert and I still need plenty of me time – I interviewed for and actually worked as a sales rep for Xerox. The job involved lots of cold calling and high pressure sales which I now know was a job that in no way suited who I was then or ever would be. However, I learned a tremendous amount, particularly about listening skills which has served me quite well. More often than I would like to admit, I would sit outside a potential customer’s office in my car, terrified with such fright that I was unable to go in. Remember, in those days there were few computers, no laptops, no internet and no cell phones. I was so ashamed by this and so fearful that there was something drastically wrong with me, that I was unable to ask for help on what to do about my fear.

My fear was merely a smokescreen, although I did not understand this at the time. The worst that could have happened were all things I could have handled: someone may have been rude, the potential customer merely said no or I may have been propositioned (remember this was a long time ago and that did happen to me.). I didn’t have the tools or know how to deal with my fear. No longer am I at the mercy of my own fear. Because I so acutely understand how fear can stop me (and others) from taking action and pursuing what we most want, I can support others in dealing with their own fear.

Has fear ever stopped you or gotten in the way of accomplishing something or creating what you most want in your life? If your fear keeps you stuck, I want to support you in making friends with your fear. I want to empower you to turn your fear into an ally instead of an enemy.

Until next time,

Amy Barnes MA MBA LMHC
I empower people to discover their gifts, talents and self worth.

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Posted in Empower, Fear, Feelings, Uncategorized

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Free to Be

Posted on July 21, 2011 | Leave a comment

Maybe you know someone like “Larry” or maybe you are a lot like “Larry.” Larry has never been able to please his Father. He went into the family business and married a woman that pleased his parents. He went to college and selected a major not based on his interests but based on what would be a good fit with the family business and please others. He has done well in his life but he has never been happy. For some people this would be a great scenario and they would be very happy. For someone like Larry whose interests and dreams are not in alignment with others expectation of him, happiness eludes him. He can never be happy living a life out of alignment with who he is.

Many of us are a little like Larry. We make decisions in our life not because it is what we really want to do but because it is what others expect of us. We have not learned to be comfortable in our skin – we rely on others opinions and we rarely trust out gut – we have trouble making decisions, sometimes even on daily simple things like where do I want to eat, because we have so little faith in ourselves. When does it become okay to listen to our own hearts, our own inner voices and use our own talents and gifts in a way that best fits us and best fits the world?

When you are in touch with and use your gifts, talents and passions, you become fully alive and fully you. Amazingly, fully being you frees up a tremendous amount of energy and gives you a much better opportunity to be both happy and successful in all areas of your life. As a coach, I empower clients to get in touch with their own gifts and talents and passions so they can most fully be themselves at work and play and in their relationships. Being ok with who you are – all of you is the basis of self-worth, self-esteem and self-confidence. I believe we were not created to be anything different than we are. I believe that we each have the potential for greatness inside us that can best be accessed by fully being ourselves.

I want to empower you to be the best you can be, by being yourself.

Amy Barnes, MA MBA LMHC

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Posted in Aliveness, Amy Barnes, Coach, Empower, Self Confidence, self esteem, Self worth, Uncategorized

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Stop Fighting Fires

Posted on July 14, 2011 | Leave a comment

Continue reading →

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Posted in career, Coach, Empower, Stress, Uncategorized, Zone of Genius

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Do You Want to Play Big or Small?

Posted on June 27, 2011 | Leave a comment

by Amy Barnes, MBA MA LMHC
Until recently I didn’t realize that I had a choice. Then I realized how small I had been playing. I could make lots of excuses about why I was playing small, not working up to my full potential or using all my gifts and talents in most areas of my life. The unpleasant truth was that I had chosen to show up being less than I could be.

I could make lots of excuses. I could blame my childhood or the fact that I felt it would take too much of time and energy or that I would have to be different than who I am or others wouldn’t like me or I just didn’t believe in myself.

I think the truth was closer to I have been doing the same thing for a long time and had fallen into a rut. Not necessarily an unpleasant rut. I like my coworkers. I thoroughly enjoy working with the vast majority of my clients.

I’ve been doing this for almost 15 years and it’s time I gave myself a promotion. As a body centered coach and therapist I’ve learned more tricks, more tools more ways of working with people to get them from where they are to where they want to be much more quickly and easier. I need to appreciate my own growth and new skills. I need to listen to myself and trust my gut to know it’s time to do things differently. It’s time for me to spend more time in my own Zone of Genius.

Just as I support and empower my clients to be the best they can be I also need to do that for myself. So in the coming months you’ll see changes in my website and changes in how I go about doing business so I can reach more people in a way that is best for both myself and my clients.

I encourage you to play big, not stay small and I’ll do the same for me. In the meantime contact me if you feel I can support you in going from where you are now to where you want to be in all areas of life – both work and play.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Until next time,

Amy

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Posted in Appreciation, Body Centered Coach, Body Mind Vibrance coach, Empower, Life Coach, Trust your gut, Uncategorized, Zone of Genius

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Can You Transform Your Pain into Joy?

Posted on May 16, 2011 | Leave a comment

Bethany Harper, The Real Soul Surfer

What about you makes you who you are today?

Were you able to overcome some obstacle to getting what you want or doing something you were told you could never do? These stories are what make the stories of heroes.

At age 13, in 2003, surfer Bethany Hamilton lost her left arm to a shark attack. A month later she was back on her board and in 2005 she won a national championship. Now at 21 she has a movie Soul Surfer based on her life. How did she have the resilience to get back on the board and not just to move on with her life but to flourish?

On the hand, think of the many lottery winners, instead of using the winnings to make a positive difference in their lives proceeded to loose everything. These are the stories of tragedies.

We all have obstacles in our lives. How we are able to deal with those obstacles is what makes a difference in each of our lives.

I want to empower people and give them the skills to deal with those obstacles well. The skills of resilience can be learned.

If someone made a movie about your life, would you be the main character? Would you be the hero and the star?

I support people empowering them to overcome obstacles so they may step into their full power and creativity. Call me if you are ready to take charge of your own life and thrive.

Until next time,

Amy Barnes MBA MA LMHC

Amy is a relationship counselor and coach with over 15 years experience, specializing in empowering individuals in transforming their pain into joy so they may step into their full power and creativity.

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Posted in Empower, Joy, Pain, Power, Transformation, Uncategorized

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Pain and Joy

Posted on December 2, 2010 | Leave a comment

by Amy Barnes MBA MA LMHC

Pain and Joy are deeply connected. Sounds like they don’t have much in common. Yet as I work with clients, as a therapist, counselor and coach, I empower people like you to move from pain to joy. These two deep feelings are intricately entwined. They have everything in common. Often we become numb to the pain. The pain over a broken relationship or over not being where we want to be in life or not liking who we are is too much and we shut down. To protect ourselves from the pain we also shut ourselves off to the joy.

Bah! Humbug! Don’t want to feel the pain. Don’t want to feel the joy. It feels safe to stay numb. You may find yourself irritated at all those happy people or getting tired of putting on a happy face. Or you may in fact feel quite split. You may feel at times, joyful and at times feeling the pain.

I support clients in dealing with the pain so that they can discover and stay with the joy. I empower clients who are willing to do what it takes to transform pain into joy, to step into their full power and creativity.

You deserve to have a wonderful life. Isn’t it time you gave yourself a gift: The gift of joy.

If you are serious about making positive changes in your life, give me a call. I look forward to hearing from you.

Until next time,

Amy Barnes MBA MA LMHC

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Posted in Empower, Joy, Relationships, Transformation

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YES or NO???

Posted on November 3, 2010 | Leave a comment

One of our earliest life tasks after mastering basic survival is discovering who we are in the world. NO! How I love to watch two year olds as they run out into the world seldom out of eye range of a loving parent or caretaker. Then the look back to make sure they are still seen. Then the sudden running back, can’t get too far away in those forays into independence. The ability of a two year old to say NO! I’m not you. I have my own mind, my own body and my own heart.

Some of us maintain that two year old “No,” being on guard and wary of connecting with people for a variety of reasons. Some of us swing the other way saying “Yes” even when we mean no. We may become fearful of losing connection, holding onto a relationship even if it means losing ourselves. Neither position allows for a healthy relationship with ourselves or with others.

The first and most important relationship we have is with ourselves. Being authentic knowing who we are and who we want to be, having the freedom to say yes or no or maybe to ourselves and to others. What a gift to discover who you are at your very core.

The most important transformation we may ever have is learning to listen to ourselves. I support people in whole body learning to listen and trust themselves. Then the Yes or No comes from an authentic place inside us.

I support clients in learning to trust their gut, to value themselves. Too often we give our power away by trusting others more than we trust ourselves.

Until next time,

Amy Barnes, MA MBA LMHC
Life Coach forRelationships and Personal and Professional Transformation

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Posted in Empower, Life Coach, Relationship, Transformation, Trust your gut, Uncategorized

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Transform Yourself and Transform The World

Posted on October 26, 2010 | 2 Comments

 Transform yourself and transform the world.  Ok. One week until elections.  I’ve virtually stopped watching or listening to the news. I’m on my pre election rant at the state of politics.   I can only take so much negativity and I am well past my full level.  Politicians know people vote based on fear.  It’s been proven as a statistical fact. 

So if you don’t like the healthcare package, come up with a better option.  If you don’t like the job stimulus, come up with something better.  

Maybe there is instead something wrong with the basic premise of our economy.  You have to have more stuff to be happy.  Yet we know that isn’t true.  How much stuff is enough to make you happy?  How many things have you bought in the last 90 days, the last year,  that are still making you happy? 

Once people live above the basic poverty level there is not much change in how happy people are.  What makes people happy is not about how much stuff we have.  In general people are about as happy as they decide to be.

Happiness is based on our friendships, experiences and how we feel about ourselves, our spirituality and how much we contribute to making the world a better place.  People who show gratitude and appreciate and contribute to making the world a better place are in general happier people.  

Being happy has to do with to quote Gandhi, “Be the change to you want to see in the world.”  If we each stepped into our full power and potential instead of blaming all those politicians for the state of the world, we would each be happier and this world would be a better place. 

Before you blame someone, what have you done today to make the world a better place? 

Until next time,

 Amy Barnes, Life Coach for Relationship and Personal and Professional Transformation
Be the change you want to see in the world. – Gandhi

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Posted in Fear, Happiness, Power, Transformation, Uncategorized

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The Amazing Power of Commitment

Posted on September 1, 2010 | Leave a comment

Yesterday I talked about commitment with a long term client. He would not tell me his commitment regarding a certain issue that has long bothered him. He said he would be judged and nagged, and involve the other person in being responsible for his success or failure if he shared his commitment. Clearly we had hit a hot button and despite his protests that his way of not making public his commitments worked, everything from his tone of voice, to his body language, breathing, facial expressions, the amount of adrenaline he was activating and his actual results showed this wasn’t true. His “I have to do it all by myself persona” was in charge. I’ll be interested in seeing how this plays out next time we meet.

I have found the exact opposite to be true of making a commitment. The power of commitment gives me a sense of freedom, a sense of direction and clarity. Several weeks ago I made a commitment to my coach, Gay Hendricks and several others to write a sample business proposal for an idea that I am truly passionate about. I agreed to have this completed by the end of August – yesterday.

At the moment I made the commitment I was in my zone of genius, excited, passionate. Since then I hit my upper limit, playing in my own self created drama triangle that this was a dumb idea. Then there was this commitment I had made. I am good at keeping my commitment to others. Many times I had started writing this proposal in the last month. Yesterday I sat down and for several hours, words flowed and I completed the sample proposal. It’s far from perfect (as my perfectionist persona tells me). It’s done and now I have a working document to play with and I’m excited. I’m exhilarated!

That short written document gave me a sense of tremendous power. I have taken a major first step in making my dream a reality. If I had not had that commitment I would have become controlled by my naysayer persona that is quite willing to tell me frequently and loudly that I can’t do it.

Here’s to the power of commitment. Thanks Gay!

With much gratitude and appreciation,

Amy Barnes, Life Coach for Relationships, Leadership and Transformation

Note: Persona from the Greek word mask. Being in persona is a way of being in the world that is different from us being our true self.

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Posted in commitment, Power, Uncategorized

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