Category Archives: commitment

30 Day Non Violence Challenge

Posted on August 1, 2011 | Leave a comment

I don’t think of myself as a violent person. I do good deeds. I’m nice to others. I even helped a women load a case of paper into her car in front of Staples the other day.
My Yoga instructor, Robin Howard, started practicing and teaching yoga as healing process in her own life.

Robin states, “Often when we start to treat ourselves with the love and respect we would offer an honored guest, we make great strides in feeling happy, peaceful and whole.” This couldn’t be more in line with what I feel I do for a living to empower people to discover their gifts, talents and self worth or more simply to be true to them.
We often do things to ourselves that we would never consider doing to others or say words that hurt others and then say, “I was just having a bad day.” What if we learned other ways to express our feelings, and to ask for what we want without hurting ourselves or others?

Robin came up with a great list for treating ourselves, others and even the planet with respect and love we all deserve.

Robin’s List:
• No negative self-talk
• No harsh words to others. If you slip, just notice and apologize
• No gossip or trash talking others
• No violent images or words from TV, movies, music
• No violent speech
• Adding at least one more entirely plant-based meal a week

I’ll post about my experiences and would love to hear from you about your experiences.

Until next time,

Amy Barnes MA MBA LMHC
Twitter @coachingwithamy

http://www.facebook.com/CoachingwithAmy

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Posted in commitment, Empower, Uncategorized

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The Amazing Power of Commitment

Posted on September 1, 2010 | Leave a comment

Yesterday I talked about commitment with a long term client. He would not tell me his commitment regarding a certain issue that has long bothered him. He said he would be judged and nagged, and involve the other person in being responsible for his success or failure if he shared his commitment. Clearly we had hit a hot button and despite his protests that his way of not making public his commitments worked, everything from his tone of voice, to his body language, breathing, facial expressions, the amount of adrenaline he was activating and his actual results showed this wasn’t true. His “I have to do it all by myself persona” was in charge. I’ll be interested in seeing how this plays out next time we meet.

I have found the exact opposite to be true of making a commitment. The power of commitment gives me a sense of freedom, a sense of direction and clarity. Several weeks ago I made a commitment to my coach, Gay Hendricks and several others to write a sample business proposal for an idea that I am truly passionate about. I agreed to have this completed by the end of August – yesterday.

At the moment I made the commitment I was in my zone of genius, excited, passionate. Since then I hit my upper limit, playing in my own self created drama triangle that this was a dumb idea. Then there was this commitment I had made. I am good at keeping my commitment to others. Many times I had started writing this proposal in the last month. Yesterday I sat down and for several hours, words flowed and I completed the sample proposal. It’s far from perfect (as my perfectionist persona tells me). It’s done and now I have a working document to play with and I’m excited. I’m exhilarated!

That short written document gave me a sense of tremendous power. I have taken a major first step in making my dream a reality. If I had not had that commitment I would have become controlled by my naysayer persona that is quite willing to tell me frequently and loudly that I can’t do it.

Here’s to the power of commitment. Thanks Gay!

With much gratitude and appreciation,

Amy Barnes, Life Coach for Relationships, Leadership and Transformation

Note: Persona from the Greek word mask. Being in persona is a way of being in the world that is different from us being our true self.

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Posted in commitment, Power, Uncategorized

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Taking Care of the Big Rocks

Posted on August 12, 2010 | Leave a comment

I’m still at the effect of my flooded basement that happened late in June. As much as I hate to admit it I have allowed it to hijack the wonderful summer plans that I had made. My free time has been spent selecting paint colors and new carpeting and painting and sorting and pitching. Lots of sorting and pitching!

I’ve become acutely aware of how often I allow my time to become hijacked and I become at the affect of what is happening instead of holding steady my course whether it is developing new workshops and expanding my coaching practice or just having fun with friends.

Is the way you spend your time and energy in line with your priorities? I recommit to spending time on what is most important. A recent client – in fact many recent clients – state that their family is most important to them. Yet they save the best of themselves and most of their time for their career. For most people the big three are relationships –career and health. What is most important to you? Does the way you use your time and energy reflect this.

Aligning your priorities is one way of being in integrity with yourself. What do you really want in your life? Are you merely complaining about it or are you willing to do something. Are you willing to take one small easy action step to move you in the direction of what you most want???

As a coach I am willing to support you in achieving your big rock goals. I co create transformation igniting my clients to step into their full power and creativity.

What are your big rocks?
Let’s make them happen together.

Until next time,

Amy Barnes, Life Coach for Relationships, Leadership and Transformation

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Posted in Coaching, commitment, Creativity, Empower, Transformation, Uncategorized

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The Value Of Doing The Same Old Thing

Posted on March 15, 2010 | 2 Comments

By Amy Barnes, MBA MA LMHC

Today I invite you to hold steady to keep on doing what you know works.  In two weeks the first quarter of 2010 will come to a close.  Many of us including me have quota, goals or targets we are trying to meet for the first quarter.   I congratulate those who have met or exceeded your first quarter expectations.   For some those goals or targets may be self made and for some they are assigned by others.

Persistence pays off.  Bob Proctor told me he reads the chapter on Persistence from Napoleon Hill’s book Think and Grow Rich every day for one month every year.

I confess that this year I have so far not met those goals I set for myself.  Maybe they were too ambitious; maybe I didn’t work hard enough or as seems to be the case my priorities have been at least temporarily elsewhere.  It is time for me to reassess what I am doing and get back on track.

For those of you who did not have first quarter goals they are plenty of wonderful people who can help you in a variety of different ways. For instance Lorraine Ball from Roundpeg can assist you in writing a business plan.   There are business coaches who can help hold you accountable.   My thought is if you do not know where you are going.  How can you know if you are there?   As a life coach I can help you if you are feeling stuck or feel you are being held back by a lack of clarity on relationship or personal issues.

I find I need a healthy balance between doing the same old thing: what I know has worked in the past and trying new opportunities and new strategies.  Some of us only do the same old things while others of us always want to try something new.   I tend to not like structure – maybe that is why I am an entrepreneur?  For most of us persistence is the key.  We know what has worked well in the past and we keep doing it.  The structure, the routine, the ritual keep pulling us forward even on days when we feel like discouraged or like doing nothing.

  • To write a book requires writing on a regular basis no matter what.  (I did write a novel in November!)
  • To develop a new product requires regular time for lots of trial and error.
  • To increase sale, I need a plan and to work my plan.

Quite simply I need to keep doing what I am doing until I come up with a better way.

Balancing structure with the openness and receptivity for trying something new is a winning combination for success.

Until next time,

Amy Barnes, MBA MA LMHC Life Coach for Transformation and Relationships

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Posted in Coaching, commitment, persistence, Transformation, Uncategorized

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NaNoWriMo: Time for a Challenge

Posted on October 27, 2009 | 2 Comments

I’ve always been a closet writer.  I love to write and have always felt a little self conscious about it.  My story has been that I have a limited audience of people who love to read my writing in very small doses but that’s about it.  My writing is boring.  Other people can say it better than I can etc. etc. 

I absolutely love reading mystery novels but have felt myself incompetent to do anything but purely non fictional self help type writing.  I’ve written poetry and prose in the past but have always discarded them as not being good enough. 

Several weeks ago at dinner with a friend I mentioned, rather haphazardly, that I had always wanted to write a mystery but felt that doing so was out of my league.  Without missing a beat he said, “Maybe all you need is practice.”  I must admit I was rather startled by this and secretly quite pleased.  I expected the same response I feel that I have received from everyone else.  Comments like maybe you should stick with writing about what you know about.  My favorite comment is from my Mom.  You’re a good cook, you really ought to write a cook book. 

I’m realizing that I have received positive comments about my writing.  In my first job out of college even though I was a math major, a number of people in the office brought their writing to me to proof.  I was told I was a good writer in grad school.  Yet there were a few negative comments from those closest to me that I allowed to influence me to discount my own writing ability.  How often we can yet others opinions of us influence what we decide to do.

I have no idea whether or not I am a great writer.  I’m just getting over a year of writer’s block.  Now I know about it first hand.

I just signed up for  NaNoWriMo.  For those in the know it stands for National Novel Writing Month.  The challenge is to write a minimum of 50,000 words forming a novel.  A very, very, rough draft of a novel.  At 300 words per page that works out to 1667 words per day with no time off.  At 300 words per double spaced page that is about five to sixpages per day or more realistically for me a few more pages per day with Thanksgiving and a few more days off.   

The challenge appeals to me.  I have no clue whether or not I will finish and that’s ok with all except the perfectionist part of me – but she won’t like the no proofreading part either.  Regardless I know it will change my writing. 

As a coach I like the idea of commitment, of trying something new and of getting outside my comfort zone.  All things I encourage my clients to do. 

Maybe you might want to join me.  If so, sign up at NaNoWriMo and let me know.

Until next time,

 

Amy Barnes, Life Coach for Leadership and Transformation

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Posted in Amy Barnes, Coaching, commitment, Completions, Creativity, Leadership, Life Coach, NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, Uncategorized, WRITING

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