Category Archives: Appreciation

Do You Want to Play Big or Small?

Posted on June 27, 2011 | Leave a comment

by Amy Barnes, MBA MA LMHC
Until recently I didn’t realize that I had a choice. Then I realized how small I had been playing. I could make lots of excuses about why I was playing small, not working up to my full potential or using all my gifts and talents in most areas of my life. The unpleasant truth was that I had chosen to show up being less than I could be.

I could make lots of excuses. I could blame my childhood or the fact that I felt it would take too much of time and energy or that I would have to be different than who I am or others wouldn’t like me or I just didn’t believe in myself.

I think the truth was closer to I have been doing the same thing for a long time and had fallen into a rut. Not necessarily an unpleasant rut. I like my coworkers. I thoroughly enjoy working with the vast majority of my clients.

I’ve been doing this for almost 15 years and it’s time I gave myself a promotion. As a body centered coach and therapist I’ve learned more tricks, more tools more ways of working with people to get them from where they are to where they want to be much more quickly and easier. I need to appreciate my own growth and new skills. I need to listen to myself and trust my gut to know it’s time to do things differently. It’s time for me to spend more time in my own Zone of Genius.

Just as I support and empower my clients to be the best they can be I also need to do that for myself. So in the coming months you’ll see changes in my website and changes in how I go about doing business so I can reach more people in a way that is best for both myself and my clients.

I encourage you to play big, not stay small and I’ll do the same for me. In the meantime contact me if you feel I can support you in going from where you are now to where you want to be in all areas of life – both work and play.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Until next time,

Amy

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Posted in Appreciation, Body Centered Coach, Body Mind Vibrance coach, Empower, Life Coach, Trust your gut, Uncategorized, Zone of Genius

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Thanksgiving Tips for Enjoying Family Togetherness

Posted on November 23, 2010 | Leave a comment

by Amy Barnes MBA MA LMHC

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday. It’s a day for focusing on relationships. I love to cook and I enjoy the wonderful conversations and time together, the wonderful relationships with family and friends. I so appreciate the gifts of time and laughter I receive from each of my guests. We have certain tried and true recipes and then the experiments. The Tofu Pumpkin Cheesecake which turned out surprisingly tasty, was added when one of daughters was vegan. Now it has become a staple.

Thanksgiving for many of my clients brings up questions about family relationships. There may be great sadness for friends and family members no longer with us or anger over relationships gone sour or just that one family member you never quite got along with.
How can you enjoy all that time together?

★Who is bringing what? If you are vegetarian (or other dietary restriction) and everyone else is die hard meat eaters (or whatever it is you don’t eat) bring a dish you love to eat.
★Give yourself breaks from family. Respect your and others need for down time.
★Say no nicely. You don’t owe anyone a detailed explanation of a lost job, a difficult divorce or a tough year.
★Respect others. No gossip. Don’t say anything behind someone’s back that you would not say to their face.
★Turn off the electronics and enjoy some quality face to face time with family and friends (at least when you are not watching football).
★Consider making a donation to the Mosel Sanders Dinner or other Thanksgiving programs. These programs feed thousands who would not otherwise have a Thanksgiving dinner.
★If you are spending the day alone, make it special, do something special for yourself or another.
★Be lavish with heartfelt compliments and appreciations, after all the holiday is called Thanksgiving. 

Plan ahead and travel safely. Have an amazing Thanksgiving, no matter who you spend it with.
Copyright 2010
 

 

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Posted in Appreciation, Healthy Relationship, Joy, Relationships, Uncategorized

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Honoring Will

Posted on June 16, 2010 | 8 Comments

My Uncle Bill married Santa Claus’ daughter who used to be a nun and they had five children. For real. As a young child we visited Uncle Bill, a bachelor who lived in Santa Claus Land. Santa Claus knew me be name and I recognized him as Santa Claus with or without his red suit. After all, his red suit was just his work clothes, just like the rest of us have work and play clothes. Santa Claus had a daughter named Pat who had become a nun. Pat left the convent and married my Uncle Bill.

The oldest of the five children was my younger cousin Will Koch. In his youth Will was a rather geeky, very bright, engineer type, shy guy with this wonderful smile. I could imagine a goofy, playful side that as a kid I seldom got to see. We generally met at these huge family parties. He was both a guy and enough younger that we seldom played together. In fact some of my first memories of him are being changed into his sleeper after his diaper had been changed as his parents prepared for the “long drive” back to Santa Claus.

I feel that my geeky son with the quirky sense of humor who now has a iPhone programming company on the west coast and Will would have had much in common if that had spent time together as kids.

As Will grew it was obvious he had a strong motivation and a dedication both to his family and to Santa Claus Land, now Holiday World. Will worked with his father to continue the vision. Will made a major decision for Holiday World to be a leader in wooden roller coasters creating a great following by wooden roller coaster enthusiasts. He loved expanding the water rides, perfect for a sweltering landlocked Midwest in the middle of summer.

Will always had a smile on his face and was quick to respond with a kind word or decisive action in a crisis. Our fathers were brothers and both died several years ago. Will’s active mother Pat, now 78, who I most recently saw speaking at a NAWBO luncheon here in Indy, is most liking smiling and greeting visitors as they enter the park this morning.

I have never been to Santa Claus before without either the smiling welcoming voice of either Will or his Father or both. Will had done much more than just stepping into his Father’s footsteps, Will created his own life and his own legacy. Will, I miss you.

Until Next Time,

Amy Barnes, Life Coach and Will’s cousin

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Posted in Appreciation, Indiana, Uncategorized

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Appreciating Both Indiana’s and Your Own Essence Qualities

Posted on October 19, 2009 | Leave a comment

IMG_0402Today is for me one of Indiana’s finest. Crystal clear air, warm and sunny, wisps of clouds in the air and the glow of leaves from green to golden yellow to bright red and all the colors in between and more. I feel blessed just walking outside. If Indiana was a person today would reflect its essence, its soul, its highest self. Today Indiana with the cooperating weather is clearly operating in Indiana’s zone of genius.

As a coach that is exactly what I want to help people do. To shine. To thrive. To glow. To operate in people just like you, live, work and play in their Zone of Genius. What is it that you love to do that both creates abundance and serves others?

The first step is to both know and feel comfortable with your authentic self. Who is it you most want to be? What is your life purpose? What makes you happy? What makes you sad? Many of us tend to skip the knowing ourselves first part. We want to move on, move quickly. We listen to what others, well meaning friends, relative, teachers, parents and spouses tell us we would be good at or what we ought to do.

Maybe it’s time for you to trust your gut. What if you said what you really wanted? Would anyone listen? The saddest thing for me is to see a person who has just completed many years of college and even post graduate training to please someone else. For instance “Bill” went to law school and became a successful lawyer. However, “Bill” was not happy. He had gone to law school only to please his father. Now he was ready to discover what he really wanted to do?

What makes you uniquely you? What do you enjoy best? How do you shine and what puts a smile on your face.

Like this glorious day when Indiana is at its finest, when are you at your finest?

Until next time,

Amy Barnes, Life Coach for Leadership and Transformation

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Posted in Amy Barnes, Appreciation, Coaching, Essence, Fall, Indiana, Life Coach, Zone of Genius

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Appreciating the Differences

Posted on October 2, 2009 | Leave a comment

getty_architecture_2009-10-2Last Thursday I was having lunch with a friend, also a Life Coach, at the Getty Museum in Los Angeles.  We sat in an open air terrace overlooking the gardens and LA.  The massive yet at the same time light and airy buildings are clad in 1.2 million square feet – that’s 16 tons of Travertine stone from Bagni di Tivoli, Italy.  In this open air structure we had a roof about 20 feet over our heads, keeping us cool.  Even though it was an unusually stifling 106 degrees outside, we felt comfortable, although we left the garden exploring for another time.  Inside, I loved the colors, the play on light and I felt an expansive bubbly feeling just walking through the galleries. 

Tonight as I write this, it’s raining and thundering outside. I have the heat on.  I’m cuddled with a comforter, my pad of paper and a pen, a cup of peppermint tea and my dog spread out peacefully at my feet.  I love the sound of the steady rain.  I feel a quiet expansiveness and a sense of peace. 

In the almost two years since I have started studying with Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks, I have found myself calmer, les quick to anger, and less likely to stay stuck in sadness or as I call it “my pity party place.”

I feel happier, significantly more appreciative of the world around me.  I feel more at peace with my self and the world.  I know I have changed, significantly – quantum change.  I wanted to learn these tools to share with others.  At that time not realizing how much they would also change me. 

These tools I have learned from the Hendricks I am inspired to share with my coaching clients.  I assist my clients in gaining clarity, expanding in love, appreciation, peace, joy and abundance just as Katie and Gay have assisted me. 

Just as I value the differences in experiences I value and appreciate the uniqueness of each individual.  I appreciate the differences.  I value each individual’s unique essence, gifts and talents.  I am inspired to work with people to bring out the best in each of them.

I appreciate and honor the differences in you.   

Until next time,

Amy Barnes, Life Coach for Leadership and Transformation

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Posted in Appreciation, Coaching, Transformation, Uncategorized

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My Inner Critic’s New Job

Posted on September 29, 2009 | Leave a comment

I want to move fast.  I am impatient.  I want to make more money, create greater abundance, be in excellent health, do only work I love, create deeper friendships and more connections with others.  Maybe like me, you are also impatient.  Are you, like me, impatient with the now?  Are you looking for ways to improve, to be better, to have more joy, more fun and to get it, whatever it is, right.

My inner critic finds little satisfaction in what is.  My inner critic is always focused on what is wrong, what is not enough.  She has my best interest at heart by always wanting me to better.  In reality she wears me out and gives me a headache.  She’s at the root of my worry and stress.  She’s demanding, always wanting more.  My inner critic is never satisfied with what is and therefore that leaves me never being good enough. 

I’m giving my inner critic a new job.  She’s reluctant.  She feels she is being punished and demoted by not criticizing me enough to change.  Perhaps you or I may have gained our inner critic from well meaning parents or teachers.  It did not work for them or for us either.  I tell her she will be much happier with her new job.  It is because of her persistence and hard work that she is being promoted. 

My inner critic is being promoted to Chief Appreciator.  She is to notice what I do well, to express appreciation to other and for the beauty of the world around me.  She told me that this new way of looking at the world won’t be easy.  She is willing to try.  Letting go of old patterns is hard.

 As a life coach I encourage my clients to express appreciation for others as well as for themselves.  Did you know that someone being appreciated feels better, those giving the appreciation feel better, and even those who witness someone being appreciated feel better?

 Appreciate your Chief Appreciator.  Express appreciation to yourself and others today.  Discover how appreciation can change the way you feel.

 Until next time,

 Amy Barnes, Life Coach for Leadership and Transformation

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Posted in Amy Barnes, Appreciation, Coaching, Life Coach, Self Confidence, Transformation, Uncategorized

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Who Are You Not to be Brilliant, Talented and Fabulous?

Posted on September 16, 2009 | Leave a comment

The IPS (Indianapolis Public Schools)  Center for Inquiry was named a blue ribbon school.  One 13 year old student was quoted as being lucky to go here because she loves learning and loves to go to school unlike many of her friends.   What a turn around and what good news for a school district that many had given up on.  I’m pleased for the students who go there for IPS and for Indianapolis.  Most of all I’m pleased that I get to open the newspaper and see good news. 

Many of us feel stuck in the bad news.  We feel fearful about  the economy and the proposed health plan.  We fear we won’t be in good health or have enough money for retirement.  We fear that our relationships won’t go well or that we won’t be good enough parents.  We feel overwhelmed. 

Life coaching is like searching for good news.  We’re hardwired for fear, for not feeling adequate enough.  Often we loose track of our own best strengths and abilities.  As a life coach again and again I see bright talented people who some how sometime ago stopped believing in themselves.  I believe each of you already has inside of you what it takes to be successful and to live the life you want. 

I want to support you in trusting yourself to make decisions and follow through that allow you to feel confident and successful.  As Marianne Williamson said, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?  Actually who are you not to be?”

Until next time,

Amy Barnes

Life Coach for Leadership and Transformation

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Posted in Amy Barnes, Appreciation, Body Mind Vibrance coach, Coaching, Empower, Fear, Indiana, Indianapolis, Leadership, Life Coach, Self Confidence, Uncategorized

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Empowered with Joy

Posted on September 13, 2009 | 2 Comments

I want to feel both empowered and joyful.  As a life coach I have the opportunity to inspire and empower others to do the same – to feel both empowered and joyful.  I feel most powerful when I have a clear sense of who I am and what I want to do both in the moment and with my life.  I feel empowered to make both happen.

I feel most joyful when I feel connected with family and friends and the world at large.  I feel joyful when I feel a sense of gratitude and appreciation and wonder.  My faith in God and my spiritual life also give me a sense of peace and joy.

Together these allow me to feel joyfully empowered.

When feeling joyfully empowered it is easy to be at peace with myself in the moment.  I then feel led to taking  next action steps that feel authentic and are in integrity with who I am and what I want to accomplish.

In this place it is easy for me to take 100% responsibility for my life and to not blame others for whatever happens.  I am also able to in that place let go of anxiety and worry.

Feeling joyfully empowered is a feeling I want to have more of the time.  I have no magic wand and no crystal ball.  I have down moments and even down days.  I have times I worry and feel anxious or get angry.  The good news is that I am having those feelings less of the time and am often able to make a shift to this place of feeling joyfully empowered.  As a Life Coach it is my desire to assist my clients in leading lives that feel Joyfully Empowered.

What would it be like for you to feel joyfully empowered?  What would you be doing with your life?  How would you choose to live your life today?

Until later,

Amy Barnes

Joyfully Empowered Life Coaching

Copyright 2009

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Posted in Amy Barnes, Appreciation, Coaching, Empower, Indiana, Indianapolis, Life Coach, Self Confidence, self esteem, Uncategorized

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Appreciating My Four Legged Personal Trainer

Posted on September 4, 2009 | Leave a comment

CharOn to day four of blogging.  Learning to upload a picture. My dog is named Char and he is my personal trainer.   I appreciate his persistence.

He was named after Prince Charmant from the movie and book Ella Enchanted which at that point in time was my youngest daughter’s all time favorite book.

He’s energetic and loving, a previously abused dog from the Humane Society and  a small 60 pound mostly Lab and Pointer mix.

Currently he is serving as my personal trainer.  He loves playing Frisbee and most of all taking walks and runs.  He helps me stay motivated on days I don’t want to go for walks.  He shows his displeasure in no uncertain terms when he is ignored.  He actually prefers running to walking which takes my exercising to a whole different level.  Like a good coach he is constantly trying to improve my level of physical fitness.

As a coach, I am constantly encouraging my clients to be the best that they can be, to break through their own personally created glass ceilings.  Char in his own loving way sees no limit to the amount his humans can walk, run and play with him.  As a coach I work with clients to uncover and dissolve any preset limits or beliefs about how successful or how happy they can be.

We all thrive with a little bit of love, appreciation and motivation.   Who either two legged or four legged can you appreciate today?  Who is it that gives you a gentle nudge and helps you be your best?

We can all use more appreciation.

Spend a moment to thank that person (or four legged friend) today!

Post a comment and let me know who you most appreciate.

Amy

Life Coach

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Posted in Amy Barnes, Appreciation, Coaching, Empower, Indiana, Life Coach, Self Confidence, self esteem, Uncategorized

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Sunday Night Choices

Posted on August 30, 2009 | Leave a comment

It’s Sunday night.  My dog Char and I are watching the night come. We’re watching the last few cardinals and gold finches at the feeders, listening to the growing sound of crickets and observing the trees turn into shadows.  Char is impatient as he sits next to me waiting for one more round of Frisbee before bedtime.

Sunday’s to me have always been special family nights.  As a child, my family watched Bonanza, http://www.tv.com/bonanza/show/228/summary.html,   on our one TV set – no computers, cell phones or CD’s.  As I grew older Sunday nights meant hastily finishing procrastinated homework.  Later family meetings with my children to coordinate family schedules with desert and family games characterized Sunday evenings.  Then my kids had less time for family and more time to talk with their friends and finish the homework they had procrastinated on over the weekend.

I have always appreciated the quiet reflection that Sunday evenings bring.  Sundays bring both a time to reflect on the past week and a time to plan for the future week.  Now my children are grown.  At first I disliked the quiet Sunday evenings alone.

Tonight it’s just Char and I, a few birds and some crickets outside to keep us company.  I now skip Sunday night deserts in favor of tilapia and sautéed zucchini.  At this point I find myself thinking of the Robert Frost poem.  “Two roads diverged on a snowy evening and I, I took the one less traveled by and that has made all the difference”

I feel sad.  My heart is heavy as I compare the loneliness to the wonderful memories of many years of Sunday night as family time.  Am I lonely or alone?

Tonight I have a clear choice.  I can stay sad stuck in the memories of the past and my stories of how life will never be the same.  Or I can intentionally make a different choice.  I can consciously choose to grow, to move forward, to have new experiences, and to create a life I love.  I can choose to continue to expand and be fully alive.  I know which choice I will make.

Which choice are you making?

Amy

PS.  Tomorrow I start Yoga classes.

Copyright 2009

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Posted in Amy Barnes, Appreciation, Body Mind Vibrance coach, Coaching, Creativity, Indiana, Life Coach, Uncategorized

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